First of all, I wish to thank everyone for answering my questions...it wasn't surprising to see the answers, and to be honest, I have seen all of you being compassionate in various ways...
I will add my view on compassion, by first saying that all of you are correct. It's reaching out and just giving to others. It's looking with an open heart at the homeless man on the street and not just giving him a few bucks, but talking to him for a few minutes. It's witnessing the teenage girl being mericilessly teased by other girls, and remembering what it felt like to be in her shoes, and reaching out to give her a hug, and tell her that she is beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with her. It's not just giving something to others, but giving love to others by handing them a tissue when needed, or becoming their cheerleader, or even just there and talking to them. There you go, that is what compassion is to me. I cannot tell you off hand of times or things that I do to show compassion because, I am not sure if I do sometimes.
Moving on for the moment, I have good news and odd news.
First of all, I am finally able to get online whenever I want or need to, thanks to my brothers. You see, when the one brother originally went to Las Vegas, he sold his computer to the younger brother, who in turn gave me one of his since he was now in possession of three computers. The computer was slow and in need of a video card, and when the other brother came home, he went online and priced one and ordered it for me, it is now installed, and I have my own computer again....can you say, NOVEL HERE I AM?! I still use the library computers for the majority of my work, but I haven't been online in a couple of days....
Second of all, I started looking into apartments, and what I can afford, and I will be able to move in September. I am excited.
However, I had a setback the other day. I became paranoid about my brakes...they didn't feel good to me, and since I was planning to move, and I had three paydays in August, I thought I would go have them checked....my friends, I wept when I put out the cash for this, because I was right to be paranoid, the brakes on all four sides where either at the limit or they were getting close to it...I spent $815 for my paranoia, but I am good with it at the moment, because that means that I will have a safe drive to work....a bit of a setback, because I wasn't expecting to pay so much, but I will be alright. They paid off yesterday in the morning, when I was driving in to work and a deer came out of no where to scare the stinker out of me....lol
Next, is that I am ready for my sister's wedding, except I need to buy panty hose and get my nail color changed to match my rose and brown trim dress (Yes, I am taking pics, and I can download them now...you'll see my hair too). I went to get my sister's wedding gift, and was happy for the excuse to use my Hallmark Gold Crown Card....and I bought new stationary for myself, and I am planning to use it this weekend, along with reading Diana Gabaldon's Fiery Cross, between manicures and weddings...lol
Another great thing is that next weekend, my nephew will be spending the week with us while my sister goes on her honeymoon to the Carribbean....dang, I wish my new b-i-l had a brother!!! LOL
I also discovered that hemp lotion works wonders on dry skin, and that OPI makes a product called NAIL ENVY that strengthens nails! I am in heaven.
I have also been doing my beauty routine religiously this week and I am happy to say that the problems areas are no longer problems...I have calm skin for the first time in a while....I am going to continue to use this system.
Oh, and I gained 5 pounds somewhere along the way! This is a good thing because I need the weight. I believe I have found my backside again, my dear friends!!!
Next week is going to be a bit hectic in my mother's home because my younger sister will be packing to move to Illinois for school. She will get her Ph.D in English there, and she has a great job with them as an administrator in the tutor's office...she hasn't even started her first day of work, and they emailed her to tell her that they were increasing her pay by $40 a month....my friends, my sister will get a free education out of this, a paycheck on top of it, and the only thing she will have to worry about is paying rent in an apartment....amazing!!
I spent the day in the new park...it was so nice, and I must have walked over two miles there, listening to babbling brooks and the breeze through the trees. It was a nice ending to a very hard week of learning compassion and working in an environment that I can't stand....I am back to pressing again until the other girl comes back in two weeks-say goodbye to all the hard work I am putting in on myself-she is getting her GED so that she can go to school for nursing so that she can support her 4 children better than where she is now, so it's not a bad thing, just working with the other two that is a pain.
Well, my friends, one more day and this week will officially be over for me....have a great evening!!
I have a question for ALL of Covenspace. Please answer this in comment on this post. I just want to see what everyone comes up with!
You see, here I am, using Compassion for the week, and I was wondering what eveyone's definition of compassion is...I am just curious to see what others consider compassion.
I also want to know what types of things do you do on a daily basis to show compassion for others, and for yourself? These can be anything, at any time-your family and friends are included in this, even for those on Covenspace.
Random acts of kindness do count, but not as an individual topic....explain what types of random acts of kindness you do....even the ones you don't think about until tomorrow or the next week.
So, what I want is:
1) your definition of compassion, and
2) what do you do to show compassion?
Thank you, my beautiful, intelligent, gentle, and kind brothers and sisters!
I have come up with a new plan, an idea that could help me to bring the postive back into my life.
Saturday, I wrote a blog on another site about how I became the person everyone knows and loves. It got me thinking about how things have slipped in my life. I had written about the 4 key elements that I wanted to work on. Along with the "new me", came the need to figure out how to get the inside to match the outside once again. So, while I was writing, I thought that I would do those things again....then this morning another idea came.....
Every week, I am going to have a word for the week, and I will remind myself to be like that.
For example, this week the word is Compassion. All day long, I told myself to remember that. I would recite it in my head like a litany.
If I kept saying the word, and telling myself to use compassion towards others, then I would do it, and it worked.
I would have used patience, but as I was listening to deity this weekend, Compassion was the one word that kept making itself clear to me...it seems that this is what I need first and foremost in my life at the moment....
I have been neglectful of everyone here over the last week or so, and I wish to say that I am sorry. I have just had a lot of negativity inside of me that needed to be drained before I could send postive love and energies your way. I will start posting comments and saying hello again very soon.
Right now, I am having some technical difficulties with my cell phone. My Nokia 5300 is being repaced AGAIN because it's not even turning on this time. So, while I wait for a new one, I am using my old Razr, and internet interaction from it is slow, and hard to deal with at times. I can't even access my facebook or Myspace properly from the goofy thing. I am lost without my msn messenger and proper yahoo messenger...my aim works alright, but I don't have many friends using it to be worth the effort to turn the stinker on....have patience, when I get the replacement, and a new setup for my phone, I will be able to contact my friends again-most of my friends here are on Myspace, and I can log in to that and not here for some reason.
As everyone knows, this past week for me has been a lesson in perseverance, patience and gaining ground on myself. Everyday something else stressed me out....I am still at the point where I need to find a way to counter-balance the negativity with positive encouragement and calming moments.
I realize that I was harsh yesterday concerning the language problems, but it's negativity reflects on me, and I worked hard over the past 12 years to change, to move away from that person who hated everything from herself to the world around her. I want to continue to be the light in this world for my friends and family, and the way they are hampers that ability for me....
They say that one person's attitude can rub off on another person, and it becomes a chain of events that changes the world....if I can only change one attitude for the course of 24 hours, then my life may mean something...and since I work with the public, I have the opportunity to touch many others...how can I do that when I am hearing: "stupid mother******, sob, f**** (and the addition to that word), everything compared to s...., or someone's backside. This rubs off on me and I start to think in this negative and profane way?
Let's not mention the negative way they treat their work. The environment there is enough to make me want to quit, and I can't do that. I will wait until I have maxed my dental insurance, and started looking into alternatives to working there that doesn't involve uniforms and hairnets, or putting my hair up....
I have one way of counting on to help me through this is a physical thing....a friend did a blog about things that they liked about themselves that sounds a lot like what I am doing for myself, which is accentuating the positive in my appearance, and working on the inside of me by affirming myself, and working on the things I don't like....I did this 12 years ago, and it led me on this journey of loving myself, and being confident in myself. I have been targetting myself in the areas where I am the weakest, and need improvements....so in honor of that, today, I am telling myself this:
I feel very beautiful today. I went to have a day of beauty! I love it, and I love my new stylist, Kimmi. My heart is now in love with manicures as a full time venture as well, and worth the small expense every two weeks....Miranda is a miracle worker, my friends, and it's great! Even my eyebrow wax was great, it wasn't as painful as the last one I had 4 months ago, and it seemed to go much faster...Kimmie said that the next time I came in, it would hurt even less because there wouldn't be as much hair as this time.
I am going to start doing the things that make me feel this way more often. A new me, a new attitude, and I am going to learn to assert myself in this situation.
Everyone have a great weekend, I know I am as I site around feeling beautiful! ;)
Alright, my dear friends, I have something on my "attack list" for today that I can no longer ignore...it's starting to affect me as well.
Profanity is NOT an intelligent part of language!! It makes a person sound backwards, ignorant, and in need of a dictionary and Thesaurus (I think I spelled that wrong, forgive me).
My co-workers use this language often. Every other word out of their mouths is profanity. Whether it is damning the Christian/Jewish God and Messiah, to accusing others of heinous acts against mothers, that is disrespect to the Pagans as well, if you think about it....then their is the bodily excrimaments that everything is compared to!!
I do not ask for forgiveness in saying this, but my co-workers speak in ignorance...one of our customers asked me if they knew how uneducated and unintelligent these people sounded-I am not kidding!! It was a moment where I felt great pity for my co-workers.
I know these people are ignorant of their behaviour and words. If they knew how they sound to me and others, I am sure that some of them would change their attitude...or not...most of them don't care. This isn't poor education, just common sense....am I wrong to think this?
When I realized that profanity DOESN'T make you sound grown-up or intelligent, I changed that about myself as well, all those years ago. I started looking for new words in the dictionary, I started finding new ways to express things, and I found a way to show great respect to the other people I was talking to and to those around us listening in.
I didn't want to sound ignorant and backwards, I didn't want to be thought of as a foul mouthed child/woman who didn't know anything....no, I wanted the world to take me seriously, and show me respect....and that came from the words that were coming out of my mouth.
Now, I find myself slipping a lot with them...using some of the language they use, then immediately regretting it....it's horrible! I don't want to revert back to that again! I like the intelligent person I am trying to become.
It's not only that, but it is offensive to me personally. I have spoken to the owner and he agreed with me about it, but never did anything about it. I am going to say something again...and again until he gets the picture. If I think on it, the offensive language can be viewed as harrassment in my mind and it's NOT a tolerable offense for any company to endure....but I won't go that route just yet, though, maybe a well placed bit of friendly advice to the owner wouldn't hurt though, and save his backside in the future...eh?
I am not going to go on a rant about the horrendous grammar because I can be guilty of that as well on ocassion....that's something I can't help those lost souls with.....
So, in conclusion to all of this....profanity doesn't make you sound smarter, only emphasizes ignorance......
So, now that I am finished, I will put away my soapbox, and my rant is finished. I think I feel better....so, in honor of that, tomorrow, I am going to the salon where I am getting a hair cut, manicure, and eyebrow wax-yes it hurts, but not as much as plucking, and it's over quickly, and lasts for a month or so!! I broke a nail today, and the moment of silence wasn't enough to calm my poor broken nail soul...lol
I am getting ready for my sister's wedding next weekend, and a day of beauty is just what this gal needs!!
