Have you ever felt like the world is moving along and you are just sitting still?  That's me this entire week.

First, one sister gets married, and she will be moving close to Dayton Ohio (well, a good reason to swing around and visit another friend when I am in town..lol), taking my nephew with her.  It's alright, because it's what needs to be done.  My new brother in law's job is a great one, and it would be a shame if he were to start over elsewhere...even if he doesn't mind doing that, it wouldn't be wise at this time for him to loose all his seniority and benefits...and my sister doesn't really have to work unless she wants to now.  She can stay at home and finish school if she wants to.

Next is my baby sister, I watched her pack this week for college in Illinois.  I forget which college, but it's near LaFayette.  There, she will earn her Ph.D while being an administrator for the English department.  She will be in charge of organizing tutors.  Her tuition will be paid for, and she will get a regular paycheck.  She hasn't even started work, and they emailed her to inform her that she got a raise!!  Can you believe it??  I am proud of her, and I want her to do this, but my heart and mind still sees that three day old baby I fell in love with, and I miss that, but I am happy that she is a woman too...odd, and I am not her mother, I can only wonder if this is how all of the moms out there feel when they watch their children pack off to college...or move into their own apartments, brand new lives without Mom and Dad to depend on.  She has her own apartment up there, and so far, all she has to worry about are the bills associated with an apartment....her college is paid for.

Then, our high school is having it's reunion...to which I am not going because I know that all of these people have moved forward as I have barely done-college, jobs, marriage, children, travelling, etc.  It's hard for me to want to go see these people, whom I barely new in high school and know that while I am not a failure, I have failed to do the things I have said I would.  I was aslo that girl who was content to sit in the back, or in a corner desk with her nose stuck happily in a book, not wanting to associate with people....then again, there may have been a psychological reason for that, and I know what that was at the time-fear, and I am not going into that one ever again....it's not something I want to hang on to.

This week, my personal motto was FAITH.  I know, I know, many are thinking of the Christian meaning on this one, but hear me out...faith has many meanings....faith in some unknown god or goddess, knowing in your heart that they will work with you in all you do....faith is a belief when there isn't proof....faith in the friend who says they will do something (and is proving to be able to do it!!)

Then there is the faith in myself.  This is what I was trying to accomplish this week.  This is hard, because I am having problems believing in myself half the time anymore...especially when I feel like the rest of the world is moving forward, and you are stagnate....how can one believe in themselves when everywhere they look, others are doing while you are sitting still?  Seven days later, and I still can't have faith in myself.

On another note, there was something to celebrate this week....in my Diana Gabaldon forum-Awaiting Diana, I was made global moderator because I have kept the group moving until the administrators came back from vacations and fixed computers...it's great, but in reality, I am re-reading DG's books, and just tied it in with my group...no big deal.  Just something to relieve the boredom.

I am dreading the coming week, because I am still working in a job that I don't even like!  It's a pain in the backside for me, but I am actually doing it for the woman who is getting her GED so that she can go to Nursing School.  She has 4 children, and wants to make a better life for herself and her children...I don't blame her.  In a sense, I am putting up with the foul language, and the ignorance in politics for this woman in honor of another friend who is doing something extraordinary with herself, making herself feel great again....this is my gift to those moms out there that are doing their level best to make their lives and their children's lives better....but I still can't wait to go back to my regular job and my normal routine...I hate getting up at 5 a.m. to go to work!!!

Since the family will be out of town this week, and the brothers and I are home-which basically means that I have the run of the house since both of them stay cloistered in the house-I am going to watch a movie with Richard Armitage in it...he is so handsome, and I adore his work!!  Even if he plays a bad guy in BBC's Robin Hood, he is a brilliant actor!

He is my writing inspiration right now for some reason...I will explain that one sooner or later...lol

Alright, alright, that was stricly for my own pleasure, but man, is he my kinda guy!!  A step over from my Japanese favs...I do love British men too, my friends!!!

Have a great evening!!

~Raven